Gratitude (34 Weeks)

I am 34 weeks pregnant with our soon to be little daughter. Among the many things I am feeling, including but not limited to random aches and pains, being very quick to tears, and some fatigue, the overwhelming emotion has definitely been gratitude. I am hoping I can hold on to this emotion throughout the process of having her, and through the crazy rollercoaster of parenting.

I haven't loved everything about pregnancy, and in fact I was never really looking forward to being pregnant. I just always knew I wanted the end result. So I'd say I came in with relatively low expectations for the whole shebang. So far, even though the most uncomfortable part is yet to come, the overall experience has been somewhat close to what I expected. I haven't loved it, nor have I hated it. I've missed beer and being able to exercise without restrictions, and feeling the baby move and kick is super cool. Overall, the whole process has gone relatively quickly.

I think the thing that I've enjoyed the most is the ability to observe and admire what my body can do. Its really quite amazing to think that a human life is growing and developing as you live your day to day life. Like, I just hang out and go to work, and my body works to create my baby's toenails (I assume this happens at some point)... holy crap.

One of the ways I think pregnancy went so quickly, is that right away I started setting goals for myself of things to achieve before baby. I haven't met all of them, but doing this helped me focus on what I wanted to do and could control, versus just waiting. Especially in the early stages when you feel sick and are more anxious about miscarriage, this was definitely helpful. But I do sometimes stop and try to evaluate if I'm taking the goal setting thing too far. Meaning that focusing on the next step is making me lose track and appreciate the present. Always just wishing I was to the next phase (i.e., her birth). I know its something most struggle with, but I want to make a conscious commitment to appreciate as much as I can about these final weeks of being pregnant. Because I will never be pregnant with this little girl again. I am also appreciative that I still have energy. Last night and today I put together our new patio furniture set, and I walked for at least 3 miles today to and from the farmer's market with a friend.

Other things I appreciate about this phase:
 * I can still dote on our pup, without worrying about if everyone is getting enough love and attention
 * I can still sleep quite a bit
 * I have an excuse for when I want to nap at any time whatsoever, and no one will judge
 * I have free excuses to eat whenever and however much I want, even if I sometimes regret it later
 * Its fun to prepare and dream about our future, even though I know it might be quite different than I imagine and there is no way to know until it gets here
 * Garrett has to give me a back massage whenever I want