Reflections on vacation: Eating to relieve physical ailments

Hi everyone!

I am back into the swing of things after our AWESOME vacation and I think before I dive into marathon training stuff (started yesterday, ah!), I want to make sure I take some time to reflect upon what I learned over our vacation.

We were gone 10 days, from Fri 5/31 to Sun 6/9, so it was a nice chunk of time. I went into it thinking I would try to stick to tracking points with Weight Watchers but I also acknowledged that this may be difficult. Overall, I did ok and tracked about 1/3 of the time we were there. However, right away Sunday morning I got back on track and have done very good tracking since then so that minimized the damage and I actually lost a lb (recall I had gained 2.2 lbs before leaving so basically I'm almost back to where I was after week 1, but I'll take it!).

Anyway, I did two very important things on my vacation that I'm proud of.

1) I was flexible and realistic in my approach (for the most part, see below), and since I did not want to be overly restrictive, I simply tried to make the best decision in most scenarios, and prioritized things I really liked. For example, Wendy and Josh had a delicious looking "reveal" cake at their place (they are having a boy!) and I looooove cake with white frosting so I had once piece, but tried to minimize the other sugars that day. Pretty straightforward, but flexibility in making changes has been a HUGE problem for me in the past during a "diet" and I like that I was able to really give myself some wiggle room in making (buzzword coming) lifestyle changes, that are realistic and long-term.

2) Perhaps even more importantly I allowed myself to become truly aware of some major eating triggers for me that I had only been semi aware of before. I had about 2 days on vacation where I ate quite a bit and felt quite terrible in the morning. I came up with the term "food hangover" because that's exactly what it is and I'm fairly accustomed to them from days when I'd have a pretty bad binge. Tuesday, we drove on Trail Ridge Road over to the Grand Lake side of the park (we stayed in Estes Park which is on the east side) and I had what I believe was a combination of altitude sickness and carsickness, combined with fatigue from the fairly strenuous hike we did on Monday. As it turns out, this was the perfect storm of things that trigger eating for me: 
     *fatigue - I convince myself I'm hungry when really my body is just exhausted, but I convince myself that somehow the food molecules will magically remove my muscle discomfort and malaise
     *mild nausea - the cure for nausea is eating salty things right? turns out this is really only the case if you haven't eaten in a while, if you are altitude and carsick and have a full stomach, it just makes you feel worse
     *lots of different types of pain/discomfort - this time it was a very dull but persistent headache caused by what felt like sinus congestion but all pains apply unless they are super intense. Food = comfort, so why wouldn't that help? Yet the pain persisted because nothing would help besides getting to a lower altitude... 

The fact that these three occurred together set me off for quick of bit of granola bar eating (all we had in the car!) and other random non-filling snacks that were around that did little for me at all, except make me feel guilty for going "off the plan." The good thing was, I think I learned quite a bit from it.

As you can see, the 3 things above happen quite a bit, in small doses, and for me, its the small doses that make me wanna turn to food, especially if its nearby. The thought process (whether conscious or unconscious) goes: "I feel blah, food helps me feel happy, I deserve a treat!" Its the same reasoning used to rationalize getting ice cream for a sore throat. But when you use it for every ailment all the time, it can add up to weight gain, feeling bad about yourself, and guilt/shame. 

Its interesting because looking back I know this is what I did in high school when I got mono... twice. I got a mild case and I wasn't in all that much pain, just enough that ice cream or cool treats felt nice going down. As I got better, I didn't have the sore throat just general fatigue and blah-feeling, and to my dismay and disappointment as an 18 year old girl who wants to stay unrealistically stick-thin, I did not lose weight but gained! On top of missing lots fun activities, all of this was a recipe for sadness, boredom, and thus more eating. So, yeah, hindsight is 20/20, and its makes a lot of sense!

I'm happy that I'm able to be open and honest about a pattern I have had for a long time. It helps me see that like so many of us, I turn to food in moments of discomfort not because I'm weak or undisciplined, but simply because I'm looking for comfort. I'm happy to say that the more I talk about this, the more confident I feel that I can continue to find the comfort I'm looking for in more effective ways (perhaps a prescription for hugs, blankets, and comfy socks!). In all seriousness though, on some level, I've known this was a pattern for a long time, but now its time to truly address it. 

Heading off for my first tempo run for marathon training! Looking to do 5 miles. Maybe post again when I return to fend off boredom eating. :)

With love, S.