Booooredom eating

(written on 5/28/13)

"Lets play a game!" - said little me during ANY long car trip. Riding silently or listening to music or looking at the scenery as we drove by = not enough. I needed stimulation.

Apparently, I've been this way my whole life. Even as a baby, if you took me into the bedroom to put me to bed, but I could hear that there was a social gathering still going on outside, I would cry until someone came to get me. Take me out into the middle of the gathering so I was not "missing" anything, and I'd fall riiiight to sleep.

Today, on the train rides to and from work, I find myself constantly needing to be doing something fun/exciting/productive/stimulating on my phone/iPod/etc, just something, something to take my mind off of... the dreaded nothing.

This need to always be mentally stimulated has some perks. I tend to keep myself busy with a lot of different hobbies and activities and I end up trying a lot of new things (in the past year, it was painting and crocheting; before that, guitar!).

If you have an issue with food though, it can pose a problem.

Because what is the easiest, quickest, more effective in the short-term way to provide fun and excitement or at least some sense of comfort/enjoyment after a long day?

For this girl, the answer is: Food. Snacks. Ice cream. Candy. ANYTHING sweet. Cinnamon sugar toast. Bowls of cereal. Spoonfuls of peanut butter.... ?

Sorry folks, TV just does not do it for me, unless of course its paired with some frozen yogurt!?

All of this is pretty harmless, until it becomes a consistent habit. If it happened once in a while, no big deal, but when you aren't hungry at all and its most nights, it results in some unwanted weight gain. And frankly, eating does not take very long so once I'm done with one bowl of cereal (3.5 minutes later), I'm still bored and therefore need 7 more. Moreover, if/when you feel guilty about eating, that leads to more stress which leads to more eating and the resolve to "do good tomorrow." This has been the pattern for me for a long, long time.

Tonight is definitely one of those nights. I used some flex points for a bowl of granola, greek yogurt, and frozen blackberries, which turned into a second bowl (it was tasty!) and a little munching on granola on the side, and now I'm drinking water. But by writing this out, I'm practicing owning it, reducing guilt, and moving forward. Plus the water is helping me feel quite full... a bit too full, but I'll survive.

Its a work in progress. Live and learn. Its all about the small victories, right?

xoxo, S.