Dream analysis, baked beans, and more life lessons

Sometimes I feel like I'm always racing, even in my sleep.

In last night's dream I was running/walking this very strange and apparently solo marathon where during parts I had to army crawl through long trenches with a substance that looked like baked beans (no joke) and during the entire thing I was alone. It was not fun at all; I was exhausted and I just so badly wanted to finish the bean race. I know that my friends were off somewhere together having fun and I just wanted to go hang out.

I woke up feeling relieved that I didn't have to finish the dang thing, then I laughed. My mind seemed to come up with a potential metaphor for graduate school. One I've considered in the past and heard others endorse.

I guess it could be... Look at all of us poor graduate students slogging through dissertations with little money while others live it up. In all seriousness though, its so easy to feel like the grass is greener on the other side. To feel like your life is the long lonely marathon trudging through baked beans and everyone else is out having fun doing whatever they are doing. Occasionally, I feel like that, sure, but mostly I try to let those thoughts go and be grateful for what I do have (a flexible schedule, the constant opportunity to learn).

Though my dream would suggest otherwise, I've been pretty good lately about trying to enjoy the course as much as possible. This is true both in my running (I'm training for the half marathon in Philly in September) and my life. Sure, focusing on getting to small milestones (e.g., running to that next tree, sprinting until my iPod stops playing the Lady Gaga song, San Diego trip in October) certainly helps, but more and more, I've been trying to sit back a bit, and enjoy each part of the ride.

Along the same vein, I've been doing a little re-assessment and adjustment of my time goals for this upcoming half marathon. My original goal to beat my previous time (1:52) may just not be realistic, due to time constraints, ridiculous heat waves, and paucity of training partners. So does that mean I can't enjoy the race? The obvious answer is no - so my new goal is to be healthy and enjoy training and a respectable time on my 5th half marathon. That is, to enjoy the ride, baby. And possibly to avoid any baked bean trenches on the course.