You know those days when you feel like a giant Jenga tower? Where as the day goes on, it feels like people or events are continually pulling out the blocks that stabilize you, leaving you feeling weaker and more wobbily... You continue your day but you wonder when that last block will be pulled that will knock you down. It might not even be a block near the base of the tower, but one near the top that eventually tips the balance just enough to send the whole thing crashing to the ground. You may start sobbing to the convenience store employee when you discover you don't have exact change... or other spectacles after that final crash.This afternoon felt like one of those days. Blocks were being pulled, and the tower was becoming much less stable. I felt the low frequency swaying, and others around me likely did as well. I thought it was possible that finding the water cooler empty at the lab might send me into a fit of tears that would reverberate down the hallway and into all of my co-workers offices. But alas, after all of that build up... no crash this time.
What was different this time? You might be wondering... Did I gain an optimistic attitude out of the blue? Did I give myself a positive pep talk that calmed the storm and put a few imaginary blocks back into place? Did I find a new balance structure of blocks that would allow me to feel better? Or maybe I just got really really drunk?!? But in fact, none of these things diverted the potential breakdown. Instead, the answer was actually more simple and unfortunately, I did not initiate it. A simple event gave me the gift that so often clears my mind of small troubles, and that, my friends, is the gift of perspective.
All it took was a simple and short email with good news about the health of one of my family members. As I read it, I started to tear up a bit in my office (but no echoing sobs). I felt so silly. The difficulties I'm having with annoying institutional review board technicalities ultimately don't matter. And computer problems can be fixed. Minor misunderstandings can be patched up. Those things will be resolved and years down the road I probably wont even remember that they happened. It is the fact that I have a family member leaving the hospital and a bunch of others who aren't in the hospital is what matters. Those are the things that should count in the Jenga tower.
I know this, I really do, but it really helps to be reminded sometimes. And the timing of these little 'perspective reminders' aren't always planned to prevent breakdowns, so I guess you have to try to remember these things in times of stress and Jenga block disarray. Maybe just remembering that you could be getting bad news about something that really matters, and you have not. And maybe that simple thought will be enough to keep the tower from falling over...
Atleast this newfound perspective will help prevent me from breaking down if the Spartans lose to UNC tonight. Not that that is gonna happen... but just in case.
