A small taste of true addiction....

After drinking approximately 30 ounces of the strongest, blackest coffee each day, pretty much every day, for the past year or so, I guess it makes sense to hear from the doc that my caffeine intake was probably causing my severe heartburn and that I should cut back. Upon hearing this, I was a little disappointed, but willing to try this. I mean, these days, coffee didn't seem to have much effect on me anyway. I figured I would miss the fun of drinking the equivalent of a Big Gulp mug of coffee on select days... but I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. Boy, did I underestimate my addiction...

I had my last day of normal coffee consumption on Thursday. The headaches came and went, and they weren't so bad. I took a little caffeine (in cup or pill form) each day on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and the headaches would pass. As of today, I am completely headache-free.... great, right? Addiction beat, yes? WRONG.

Turns out I discovered another aspect of trying to wean myself from this drug: the psychological one. I woke up on Monday and tried to go about my day as usual. However, nothing felt the same. I woke up 15 minutes late because I just couldn't seem to motivate myself to get out of bed. This didn't really phase me. 'I'm still sick,' I thought to myself, as my allergies have been acting up a lot lately, 'and that must be making me extra tired.' However, my usual routine of getting ready was significantly slower and before I know it, I had 15 minutes to catch the train and I haven't even dried my hair. I quickly dried my bangs and left. I arrived at work 30 minutes before I was to give a presentation. I jump on my classmate Sapna's computer to finish up my powerpoint slides but I just can't focus. I have very little motivation to finish before the meeting and I'm still moving very slowly. Its about then that it dawns on me, maybe the lack of coffee is causing this newfound avolition. Indeed, after a half cup of the good stuff I am able to finish out the rest of my day at a relatively high functioning level.

Today's morning was similar, and perhaps even worse. I was late again, and this time did not have time to put on any makeup whatsoever, or grab my phone before leaving. To top it off, I didn't have time to get any caffeine until 12pm. Those four hours were interesting. I certainly found myself more irritable, less focused, and sorta depressed. The effects were so strong, I half expected to experience full-fledged delirium tremens right there in my meeting.

As of now, I'm happy to report that I am already feeling better and optimistic that I am through the worst of it. Looking back, this experience has certainly taught me a few lessons. First, caffeine addiction is real, and can be both physical and psychological. Second, don't drink coffee, or any caffeinated beverage for that matter, like it is the world's last remaining source of water. It simply is not a good idea. Lastly, don't ever become addicted to anything worse, as withdrawal will likely be a lot worse. Lets just say I have had a glimpse of what drug addicts experience when they try to kick their respective habits and it has given me newfound empathy and understanding for these individuals...